With all the talk of the UK over the last few weeks; Lucy planning to go home, the arrival of my parents, the diamond jubilee; I have found myself thinking of the UK a bit more than usual. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in anyway pining to get back to the UK - especially after seeing the recent weather forecasts! - but when I do decide to return there are a few things that I'm looking forward to...
1. Getting a decent leg wax. I thought coming to South America that hair removal treatments would be top notch, with Brazil being a massive part of the continent and Brazil giving it's name to the most famous of hair removal processes. I was wrong... so wrong. Waxing in South America should come under the 'Dangers and Annoyances to Women' section in the Lonely Planet.
I have had some of the oddest experiences in beauty salons here, not helped by the fact I haven't studied my Beauty Salon Spanish vocabulary list that well.
- I have been attacked with boiling wax ... wasn't too bad actually, dried out the mosquito bites!
- When I thought one session had finished, she began all over again ... boiling wax on newly waxed skin! Owwww!! After that trip I thought I was going to have to dig out my Medical Emergency Spanish Vocabulary.
- I have been waxed with cellophane ... funnily enough the results weren't that good.
- I have been immac-ed when my waxer realised that cellophane should not be part of the waxing process ... are you kidding me!
- A half leg wax surprised me when it turned into a full leg wax ... no hair was safe from her!
- and I can't even bring myself to type about the bikini waxes .. still brings a tear to my eye!
2. A clean kitchen ... with condiments! Some times hostel kitchens are so vile I start taking my malaria tablets as a precaution, so I look forward to having clean crockery and cutlery and utensils so I can enjoy cooking again. And unfortunatley I couldn't get a herb rack into my rucksack ... although you would think I did judging by the size of my bag ... so the food I prepare for myself can be bland. Luce and I went crazy and invested in black pepper and hot sauce which we used on everything; sandwiches, stir fries, scrambled eggs, it will be great to get start using another type of seasoning again!
3. A decent cup of tea! With actual fresh milk.
4. A decent gin and tonic!
5. Plug sockets. I look forward to not taking my life in my hands every time I need to plug something in. Most of the time the sockets don't work which is the safest option. Sometimes they do work ... how do you know, because they spark first! And after that the plug falls straight back out again, which means the simple task of charging a battery involve you balancing and positioning wires to maintain a connection whilst trying not to get electrocuted.
6. A new selection of clothes. I've quite enjoyed having a limited wardrobe... it speeds up decision making for a start, but I really look forward to having just a few more options... options that have some sort of shape because they haven't been battered by cheap laundries and options that don't have various stains and holes in them would be lovely!
7. Paying on a card. Most places prefer you to pay with cash so you always have to be prepared with enough money ... but not too much in case you lose it. And on the subject of cards ... I look forward to not having my card blocked for random security checks ... seriously Lloyds TSB I've been out of the UK for 7 months now... get over it!
And on the subject of money ... I look forward to shops having change so that I don't have to protect my coins with my life! I look forward to not being given a filthy look every time I want to pay with an actual note ... why have notes if you can't actually pay with them!
8. And of course, seeing friends and family again ... goes without saying!
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